I Know What You Did Last Sleepover/Transcript
Sydney: Dad! Dad! Dad! Max: What-- ow! Sydney: Dad, we have great news. Olive's parents are leaving town for a week. Which means she should totally stay with us, right? Max: I don't know... Sydney: C'mon, we've had sleepovers before. It'll just be a longer one. With extra Olive. Max: It's not just a sleepover. These are school nights. That means doing your homework every night. Sydney/Olive: Like sisters. Max: Going to bed at a decent hour. Sydney/Olive: Like sisters. Max: Doing chores. Sydney/Olive: Like sisters! Max: But you still haven't answered the most important question. Are you two prepared... for the best week ever?! Sydney/Olive (gasp, chanting) Sisters! Sisters! Sisters! Sydney/Olive/Max: Sisters! Sisters! Sisters! [THEME] Sydney: Excuse me, coming through. Official sister business. Olive: Your sista's in the house! Sydney: Yeah, she is! Max: Olive, you're staying for a week, not till college, right? Judy: Watch out! I've got zombies on my tail. Max: Mom, what are you doing? Judy: Fighting a zombie apocalypse. It's the coolest new A.R.R. game. (gasps) Brain-biter! Sydney: Grandma! Stop! You're killing Olive's clothes. Judy: Oh... Hmmm, well, that's better than what I did to the neighbor's mailbox. Max: All right, girls, I planned us a bunch of fun activities. Whaddya say kick things off by making friendship bracelets? Let's rock some crafts. Sydney: Gee, that'd be great, Dad, except-- Max: I get it. Just sisters, no misters. Sydney: Actually, we could use a mister. Max: Really?! Sydney: Yeah, to bring up Olive's bag. Max: You know, they remind me of me and Leo. We always got along great. Judy: And I thought I was living in a fantasy world. Max: What's that supposed to mean? to 1992 Young Max: Hey, Leo! Guess what? I was skating with the Dog Boys and the only told me to get lost once. Leo: Hey Max, you know what time it is? Young Max: No. Leo: Somewhere between late and late-thirty. Young Max: What does that mean? Leo: It means you're late! Young Max: Oh, man. I'm sorry. Leo: Max, this is becoming a habit. Young Max: What? No, it's not. (recorder clicks on) Young Max (on tape) Sorry I'm late. (recorder fast-forwards) I'm late, sorry. (recorder fast-forwards) Sorry! (recorder fast-forwards) Sorry! (recorder fast-forwards) Sorry. Young Max: Okay, okay... But I always have a good reason. (recorder clicks play) Young Max: I was skating with the Dog Boys. (recorder fast-forwards) Dog Boys! (recorder fast-forwards) Dog Boys! Young Max: I can't believe you've been recording me. Friends don't do that. Leo: You know what friends don't do? Promise to come over and play checkers last night and not show up. I played by myself. I won, but it's not the same. Young Max: Sorry, I got hung up with the-- Leo: Do not say Dog Boys. Young Max: Fine, I won't. Oh, I almost forgot, I gotta leave five minutes early to meet up with... well, the who isn't important. Leo: You know what? You can leave early. In fact, you can leave as early as you want. Young Max: Thanks, man. Leo: Because you're fired. Young Max: What?! You can't fire me. I'm your best friend. Leo: That's what makes this so hard. See ya! back to present-day (giggling) (knocking at door) Max: Girls, it gives me no pleasure to say this, but school tomorrow. Time for bed. Sydney: Thanks for letting Olive stay, Dad. Today was awesome. Olive: Yeah, my cheeks are actually sore from smiling. Ow. Ow. I can't stop smiling. Ow. Max: Well, I'm just happy to see you guys having so much fun. Good night. Sydney: (yawns) Boy, am I tired. 'Night! Olive: 'Night. I've always wanted a horse. Sydney: What? Olive: That's my secret secret. But I have a dilemma. I'm scared of horses. Sydney: That is a dilemma. Well... 'night! Olive: 'Night! How awesome would it be if horses could talk? Sydney: Really awesome. In fact, we should discuss it in the morning after a good night's sleep. Well, 'night. Olive: 'Night. Maybe I don't even want a horse. I hear llamas are nice. Sydney: You know what? I just realized I, uh... forgot to brush my teeth. Be right back. Olive: But hurry. We have a lot to talk about. (sports on TV, indistinct) Sydney: Hey, Dad, I need a favor. Max: You name it! Sydney: I'm trying to go to sleep, but Olive keeps talking. And you know how I need my Z's. Max: Oh, yeah, if you don't get your eight hours, you turn into a real-- So, what's the favor? Sydney: I need you to me up and tell us to be quiet. Max: Why can't you tell her yourself? Sydney: I would hurt her feelings. And I don't want to be the bad guy. Max: You got it, one "bad guy" comin' right up. And I'm sorry about the air quotes. Why am I doing this?! Olive: Okay, horses are out. Llama's a maybe. I wish I could ride a cat. (knocking in door) Max: Girls, I could hear you downstairs. Please no more talking. Sydney: Aww, c'mon, Dad. We're having fun. How often does Olive get to stay over? Please? Max: Huh? Uh... okay, just don't stay up too late. (door closes) Olive: So, where was I? Right. Cats. Sydney: I just remembered, I forgot to floss. (Sydney sighs) (games continues on TV) Sydney: What was that about? Max: What was what about? Sydney: You were supposed to tell us stop talking. Max: I did, but then you said, "Aww, c'mon, Dad!" Sydney: I was just pretending so Olive didn't suspect it was coming from me. Max: Ohh... boy, you're good... Sydney: Now come back in, do it again, but this time, don't back down. Max: Got it, one better bad guy coming right up. Notice that time, I did the air quotes in my head. What is happening to me? Olive: If I was a mouse, I could ride a cat. But cats eat mice, so could I ever really trust one? (knocking at door) Max: Okay, girls, enough's enough. Don't make me regret letting Olive stay over. I need you two to go to sleep. Now. Sydney: Dad, you're being really unfair. We're having so much fun talking. Just a little while longer. Please? Max: Huh?! Okay... no... no? No, no. No more talking. And this time, I really mean it... (door closes) Sydney: Wow, we better stop talking. Sounds like he really means it. Olive: I know. Sydney: Well... 'night! Olive: (whispering) He can't hear us if we're in the same bed. (high-pitched) Sisters! Sydney: Yeah... (faking exciment) sisters. next morning Olive: Syd, I don't want to be late for school. How much longer do you think you'll be? Sydney: Not much! Olive: Morning, Grandma Judy, can I ask you-- Judy: Shh! Stand very still. There's horde of zombies walking by us right now. If I move, I make the last 20 hours of my life look ridiculous. Okay, we're safe. Olive: Does Syd always take an hour in the bathroom? Judy: Of course not! She usually takes two. Olive: In my house, anyone who takes than five minutes, gets a wet woogie. Don't ask. Judy: You know, Sydney's not used to sharing a bathroom with anyone. You might want to say something. Olive: Oh, no, we're having too much fun. I don't want to let a little thing like personal hygiene get in the way. (fake chuckle) Judy: That's very mature of you. (gasps) Brain muncher! Duck! Oh, ha, ha! Got it. Max: Really? I think a big enough cat could handle a saddle. Sydney: Morning, Dad! Olive, what happened to your hair? Olive: Oh... I, uh, never got to shower this morning. Sydney: Oh! Was I in there too long? I'm so sorry. Olive. No, no, no, it's totally fine. I'll just shower after school. Something to look forward to. Yay... Sydney: Thanks, Olive, you're the-- is that my brand new shirt? Olive: Oh! You haven't worn it yet? I'm so sorry, I-I'll go change. Sydney: No, no, no. Wear it, please. This way, I get to enjoy looking at it. Yay... Max: (to Olive) Huevos rancheros with extra salsa. Sydney: With extra what? Max: (to Syndey) And chocolate chip smiley face pancakes for my little pancake. Sydney: (gasps) Olive! (slow-motion) Nooooooo! Olive: Nice catch! That was close! Sydney: Oh, no. Olive: Al least you weren't wearing your brand-new shirt. More salsa, please? to 1992 Judy. What are you doing home? Why aren't you at the arcade? Young Max: You're not gonna believe it. Leo fired me! Judy: What did you do? Young Max: Why do you always assume I did something wrong? Judy: Because you have a long, convincing history of it. Young Max: Fine, so maybe I was late once or twice. Okay, 12 times. Judy: T-Twelve times?! Young Max: I know, right? I've been late to algebra way more than that. Judy: Oh, no, you're gonna be living here forever. Young Max: The point is, friends don't fire friends. It's a jerk move. Judy: Oh, there's a jerk in this story, all right... And it isn't Leo. Young Max: Are you saying I'm partially to blame? Judy: No, I'm saying you're entirely to blame. You owe Leo an apology. Young Max: But I wouldn't even know what to say. Judy: Do I have to draw you a picure? Young Max: That would make it way easier. back to present-day (playing bass, repeating four notes) Olive: You practice like this all the time, huh? Sydney: Every day! The only way to get better is to do it over and over. Olive: Guess that's why I've read the same page in my history book. Over and over. Sydney: Whatever helps you study. (bass playing starts again) Olive: Well, I am loving this concert, but sadly I'm thirsty. Sydney: Don't worry, I'll still be playing when you get back. Olive: (faking excitement) Wonderful! (continues playing) Max: Hey, Olive, what's up? Olive: I was hoping you could do me a favor. I'm trying to do my homework, but Sydney's playing her bass really loud, and I-- Max: You don't want to be the bad guy. Olive: Exactly! Max: I'm on it. (playing bass) (knocking at door) Max: Syd, you're playing your bass too loud. It looks like Olive's trying to do her homework. So, turn it down. Olive: Oh, it doesn't bother me. Her playing's so awesome. Let her do it for a little while longer. Please? Max: Huh? No. Right? Yes-- no, no. Syd... use your headphones. Sydney: Okay, okay! Olive: Wow. He sounds like he's really serious about you using your headphones. Sydney: Oh, he is. Luckily, I have an extra pair! (bass playing starts again, through the headphones) to 1992 Young Max: (sighs) Hey, Leo. Leo: Max... Hey! It's four o'clock. If you worked here, you'd actually be on time. How ironic. Young Max: Listen, I was thinking about what happened yesterday. Things were said, mistakes were made. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Bucky: Hey, Leo, I just finished inventory. We're missing 20 tickets, and a wind-up walking eyeball. Young Max: What? You replaced me?! Leo: Bucky, this is Max. He worked here some time ago. Young Max: It was yesterday! Bucky: So, any tips for a rookie? Young Max: Yeah... don't get too cozy, kid. This guy's got no loyalty. I'm gonna go hang with my real friends, the Dog Boys. Leo: Sorry you had to see that, Bucky. back to present-day Max: Hey, Syd, how's it going? You and Olive doin' okay? Sydney: No. I'm seeing a side of Olive I've never seen before. Can you believe she has to have absolute, total silence to study? Max: Well, I kind of like it quiet when I-- But, you're right, you're not livin' in a library. Sydney: Did you know that Olive and I had this dream that after college, we'd share an apartment in New York? How can we be roommates? After this week, it's not even fun being friends. Max: Whoa, whoa, whoa, pump the brakes. You guys have been spending a lot of time together. Let's change things up a bit. What'd you say we have a game night tonight? Sydney: I don't know, Dad. Max: Come on! There'll be four of us. Ooh, we can finally have teams. Sydney: Okay... I call Grandma! Max: What about me? Sydney: Dad. Max: Wow, you lose 20 games in a row and suddenly you're a loser. to 1992 Judy: Wow, you got so bored you cleaned your room? If I took away TV, would you patch the roof? Young Max: Please don't take away the TV. It's the only friend I have left. Judy: Hey, maybe you could go skating with those... dog people. Young Max: Mom, it's Dog Boys. Besides, it's raining, nobody's skating. Judy: So, why don't you invite them over? Young Max: They're not "come over" kind of friends. Judy: What's all that? Young Max: It's junk what's-his-name left here. What should I do with it? Judy: Have Leo come and pick it up. Young Max: Fine. But I'm not talking to that person whose name I won't say. Judy: Who? Young Max: Leo-- gahh! back to present-day Olive: Somebody who sews clothes. Max: A tailor. Olive: Somebody who runs fast. Max: Uh... speedy. Runner. Sprint! Taylor Sprint! It's Taylor Sprint! (phone dings) Olive: Taylor Sprint? Oh, yes, I have all of her albums. Do you live in a cave?! Oh, sorry, Mr. Reynolds. Sydney: Okay, let's see, you guys got... one. And that's only because I'm counting "Kathy" Perry. Okay, let's do this, Grandma. Judy: The Rock. Sydney: Dwayne Johnson. Judy: Yes. Uh, has a haircut named after him. Sydney: Oh! Uh-- Olive: (singing) This is the distraction song. Distraction song. Distraction song. This is the distraction song. It makes it hard to think. Sydney: Olive, what are you doing? Olive: Distracting you. Didn't you hear the song? (phone dings) Sydney: (sighs) Olive, that's not part of the game. Olive: Hm, at my house, we play defense. It's fun. Sydney: I can see how some people might think it's fun. Not me, but some people. Olive: Well, some people think some people should just say what they really mean. Sydney: Then I'm saying it'd be nice if you didn't do things without asking. Like adding rules to the game or borrowing my brand-new shirt. Olive: Oh, so it did bother you. Well, let me tell you what bothers me. Someone who takes an hour brushing each tooth! Max: Girls-- Sydney: You said that was fine! Olive: I lied! Sydney: I lied, too. I lied awake all night because you were talking my ear off! Judy: Come on, squad, let's chill. Olive: Talking your ear off? What about playing my ear off? (imitating Sydney's bass playing) Sydney: You know what? Forget New York. Olive: Don't worry, I have. Sydney: Why? Because you can't bring a llama? Olive: There are over 200 domesticated llamas in New York! Sydney: Who cares?! We're not going! I'm done here. Olive: I was already done. I just kept arguing because I'm a guest. Sydney: Grandma, I'm sleeping in your room. Judy: That means I'm sleeping in your room. Max: That means I'm sleeping on the couch. morning Max: Olive's parents are gonna be here soon to pick her up, where is she? Sydney: Upstairs. Probably doing something I hate, or hating something I do. Max: Okay, so you have some differences. That doesn't mean you can't be best friends. Like the classic combo, grilled cheese and tomato soup. One is crunchy and cheesy. And the other... is soup. Sydney: Dad, I appreciate you trying to help, but it's not gonna work. Not after the things Olive said about me. Max: All I know is, if you let Olive walk out that front door without talking to her, you're gonna regret it. Olive: I can't believe those mean things Syd said about me. I'm Olive. I'm delightful! Judy: I know you're hurting. And I'm hurting, too. I think I pulled a hammy stomping a zombie. But I'm afraid, if you don't talk it out with Sydney before you leave, your friendship may never be the same. to 1992 Judy: Hey, Leo. Leo: Hello, Mrs. Reynolds. I came for my things. Judy: Max! Leo: I hope this won't affect our friendship. Judy: Of course not. Maybe you could drop by for cookies. Leo: In time. It's too soon. Young Max: Mom, why didn't you just give Leo his stuff? It's right here. Judy: Huh. Bye. Young Max: I think that's everything. Leo: I assume my singing trout's in here? Young Max It's under the fart machine. Leo: Wait... the model car? That's yours. Young Max: No, you painted it, so you should have it. Leo: But you put on the flame decals. (chuckles) Your fingers were glued together for three days. Young Max: We made a good team. Leo: A very good team. (sighs) Young Max: Look, Leo. I'm really sorry. I've been a total jerk. Leo: Yeah, well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have fired you. I was just upset you were hanging with the Dog Boys. Young Max: Dude, forget them. You and I have been tight since I pushed you off the slide in kindergarten. Leo: We just clicked. Young Max: We still click. Hey! You wanna go hide under my mom's bed with the fart machine? Leo: You read my mind. Hope it still works. Young Max: If it doesn't, we might have to go old school. back to present-day Max: Come on, Sydney! Olive's parents are almost here! Come say goodbye! Sydney: So... Olive: So... Sydney: So... Guess I'll see you at school tomorrow. Olive: Guess so. (car horn honks) Sydney: Guess that's your parents. Olive: Guess so. Sydney: Wait! Olive: Yeah? Sydney: Uh... did you remember your toothbrush? Olive: Oh. Yeah, all three of them. Well, I'm gonna go now. (walking slowly) I need to say something. Sydney: What? Olive: I, uh-- I like your coffee table. Sydney: Oh... yeah. It's nice. Never really noticed it before. Very solid. Olive: Dependable. Sydney: Kind... I'd miss it if it wasn't here. (car horn honks) Olive: Okay, I'm gonna go. I'm walking... walking... still walking... opening the front door... opening... still opening... going outside... Sydney: I'm sorry. Olive: Did you say something? Sydney: I said I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. Olive: I'm so, so sorry, too. Sydney: And I don't care how different we are. You're my best friend and I never want that to change. Olive: Me, too. And I lied about not going to New York. I want to go. I don't need a llama. Sydney: No, let's go somewhere where llamas are accepted like Peru. I heard it's the New York of South America. Olive: It doesn't matter, as long as you're there. Sydney: Dad, we're moving to Peru. Max: Fine, as long as you're at school tomorrow. (car horn honks) Sydney: (sighs) Oh, man, I can't believe you have to go now. Olive: I wish we could have a do-over. Max: Well, maybe you can. Sydney: What are you talking about? Max: Olive's parents texted this morning. Their flight got canceled. They won't be home till tomorrow. Sydney: What? You tricked us? That was so mean! Max: (nods his head) Sydney: Thanks, Dad. Olive: Yes! Now we have the whole day together. Sydney: Wait. If Olive's parents aren't here, then who's honking? Judy: I thought you two would never make up. I was starting to get some nasty looks from the neighbors. Olive: Come on. Let's go look up stuff about Peru. Sydney/Olive: Sister! night Judy: Okay. She's a pop star. She's really tiny and she has a really big ponytail. Max: Ooh-ooh, I know this one, I know this one. A-- Ariana, Ariana. Judy: Her last name is a drink size. Max: Okay, uh... short... tall... medium... Sydney/Olive: (singing) This is the distraction song. Distraction song, distraction song. This is the distraction song. It makes it hard to think. Max: Wow, that is really distracting. (phone dings) Max: Venti! I got it! Ariana Venti! Judy: Oh! Category:Transcripts Category:Season 1 Transcripts